Vignettes from Siem Reap- Chaotic Order

[For a more comprehensive account about my trip, please see my previous post "Fabulous Siem Reap"

Chaotic Order

The first time I sat in a tuk tuk, I did not realize what a ride it would be. Bumpy and uneven roads, vehicles driving on the oncoming traffic lane before swerving/ changing back to their their lanes at the very last minute, turning left onto oncoming traffic, all the honking and dust... I clung to the handlebars, afraid that I was going to get hit or fall out when we went over another bump.

Yet, by the end of the trip, I realized that despite all the chaos, I had never witnessed an accident, and that I was in no danger of falling out of the tuk tuk. I marveled at the traffic system because as dysfunctional as it sounds, it works!

I don't know how or why it works, but here are two things I observed that I believe helps the situation:

1) They drive slow there. The fastest I saw my tour bus drive was on a deserted road in Angkor, and I believe he was only going maybe, 40mph/ 64kmph. Maybe it's the slower pace of life? Their vehicles are just older with less engine power? Tuk tuks are heavy so how fast can the motorcycle pulling it drive? I don't know. Whatever the reason, the slower speeds means that they can brake faster and avoid collisions better.

2) They are more willing to give way and move on. We once asked the tuk tuk driver to drop us at a particular street, and thought that he would drive to a safe parking spot for us to alight. Not so. He stopped the tuk tuk at the corner of a busy intersection in front of the street we wanted to go to. We looked behind and saw a whole pile of vehicles, waiting for the tuk tuk to move. When it became apparent that he was parking there for us, the drivers behind us simply went around the tuk tuk and moved on. No honking (maybe one?) or swearing. Just "Look, I'm not going to bother arguing with you. I'm just going to move on."

Of course, traffic laws are in place for a reason, but wouldn't it be nice if sometimes we adopted their attitude, and just gave way a little more? Some small inconveniences are not worth fighting over.

And now, one of my favorite pictures:

Leaving church to go home

Vignettes from Siem Reap- A Reunion and Children of Cambodia

[For a more comprehensive account about my trip, please see my earlier post, "Fabulous Siem Reap"]

A Reunion

October 2007: I had just been sent to Las Vegas, my first proselytizing area as a missionary for my Church, (pending my visa to Taiwan). Three weeks after I arrived, we had a mission "transfer" (missionaries learn if they are transferred to another area in the mission). One of my companions left to another area, and Sis Kuntheavy Seam transferred in, a petite Cambodian whom I grew to love in the three weeks I served there before I left to Taiwan. We reconnected after our missions via Facebook, never thinking that we would see each other in person again till the next life.

May 11, 2014: I sent Kuntheavy a Facebook message asking her if she would recommend any places to visit in Siem Reap. Through our correspondence, I also learned that she lived in Phnom Penh, a four and half hour drive away from Siem Reap. I was bummed that I wouldn't be able to see her, but it couldn't be helped.

May 26, 2014: Kuntheavy wrote on her Facebook status, "Going to Siem Reap by Golden Bayon Express van for 5 hours drive..." I could not believe my eyes, and excitedly commented on it. Turns out that she was helping to coordinate the same church work meeting that my father was attending!

Who would have thought that almost seven years later we would meet again? All I can say is, the world is truly smaller as a member of the Church, and all hail Facebook.

Children of Cambodia

My parents and I went to church Sunday morning. The beautiful building is smaller than the standard size chapel, but it was clean and welcoming. The attendance that day was low (around 70 people while usual attendance is around 150 because most of them had traveled to Phnom Penh to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Church in Cambodia); nonetheless the testimonies heard that meeting bore witness of the members' faith and humility. I can't imagine how they find the strength to pay tithing and refrain from working on Sunday, and yet, they do (at least the stronger members).
As we were sitting in the chapel, I noticed the children and their big grins. Remembering that I had a stick of Hi-chew candy in my bag, I gave them out to the children at the end of sacrament meeting, just as we were about to leave.

Before each child took a piece of candy, they clasped their palms together and bowed their heads (the Cambodian way of greeting and expressing gratitude) and only then would they accept the candy.

Expressing thanks before accepting the gift.
And every single child did the exact same thing.

I wished I had more candy to give away, and left with a heart touched by the spirit that morning.

Vignettes from Siem Reap- The Tuk Tuk Driver

[For a more comprehensive account of my trip, please read my earlier post "Fabulous Siem Reap"]

The Tuk Tuk Driver

We came to a street intersection at the Old Market, trying to decide if we wanted to continue shopping or find a place for dinner. "Tuk tuks" (the Cambodian equivalent of a taxi, really a carriage pulled by a motorcycle) lined all four corners, their drivers lounging on their own tuk tuk seats, taking shelter from the unbearable heat while waiting for tourists to hail. The pace of life in Cambodia is a refreshing change from the hectic strides back home.

A tuk tuk of durians- love, love, love!

"Come, come. Cheap!," said a driver, beckoning us to sit in his tuk tuk, "I drive around the market, you sit, see see."
"No, no. I think we want to eat," replied my dad.
"Ah! Eat... good eat. Then you sit my tuk tuk after you eat," he chuckled in reply.
We laughed. He was definitely more engaged in advertising his services compared to his peers.

"Is there any good place to eat?" asked my mom.
"Yes. There, my kitchen," he said, pointing down the street.
"My kitchen?"
"Yes, my kitchen. I take people eat there. Good, good." he reassured us.
We quickly figured he wasn't literally referring to his kitchen, but the name of the restaurant.

"Are you sure it's good?"
"Yes," he nodded emphatically, "Very good." (Although frankly, what other option could he say...)
"Air-conditioned?" (It's just too hot not to ask)
"Yes, yes."

We discussed our options, and decided to try it.
"Good food," said the tuk tuk driver, "You eat, then sit my tuk tuk. I bring you around." Dang, not a bad negotiator!

We trooped down the street, and found "my kitchen." The name of the restaurant was actually Khmer Kitchen, and it wasn't air-conditioned, but it had strong ceiling fans that blew small winds of relief for our wearied bodies. We sat down, uncertain of what to order. In the end, we ordered the fresh spring rolls, amok (fish curry), fried pumpkin, and omelette with long beans, and each of us had a fresh fruit shake. The tuk tuk driver was right- the food was delicious, and the fruit shakes, refreshing. And it only cost slightly over US$20 in total for the entire meal! We walked out with happy, full stomachs, and found the tuk tuk driver waiting for us. As agreed, we decided to let him take us for a ride around the Old Market.

"All six can ride my tuk tuk," he smiled and beckoned for us to step into his tuk tuk, slickly sidestepping any questions if we should take two tuk tuks.
"All six of us?"
"Can, can," he nodded.
Err...okay... We climbed into the tuk tuk, three persons on each side.

Clutching the handlebars hanging from the side, we absorbed the sights and sounds as the tuk tuk drove around. With the setting of the sun, shops at the Old Market began closing, only to be replaced with the glittering lights of the night markets. The chattering of the growing crowds, the chugging of the ubiquitous motorcycles, the honks of vehicles overtaking, the bumpy ride over unevenly paved roads... Surprisingly there wasn't a particularly strong aroma wafting from the streets or shops, unless you count the smell of petroleum and diesel from the vehicles. We stopped once to do some shopping, then rode back to the hotel. 

"How much is the fare?" we asked.

"Anything, anything."

"$10 enough?"

"Can, can. Thank you," as he placed his palms together in the usual way that Cambodians greet and thank others.

As we paid him, he said  "Tomorrow, you go where, call me. I take you go see Angkor Wat, Floating Village..." Then he pointed to the roof of his tuk tuk where a few name cards were attached, "My name card. Call me, I take you. Cheap." 

We explained that we already had a tour guide that would take us, but that we would keep his card if we needed his service.

"Can can. I take you to night market tomorrow?"

" We'll call you."

"Okay. Can, can."

"What's your name so that we can call you?"

"Mr. Money."

If my dad ever needs to look for a new job...

 [We did call Mr. Money to take us to the night market the next evening, and all six of us squeezed into his tuk tuk again. I wouldn't recommend having that many people in one tuk tuk. It wasn't comfortable.]

Fabulous Siem Reap

Anyone heard of Siem Reap? Quite frankly, before this trip, neither did I. But if I showed this...

Welcome to Siem Reap, Cambodia, home of the famous ancient city of Angkor! Two aunts, an uncle, my parents and I were fortunate to be able to travel there for 4 and a half days. The word that kept coming to my mind throughout the trip was the word "charming." I don't even know why because Siem Reap is still very underdeveloped, dusty, and BLAZING hot, but something about it captivated me. My mom planned the whole trip and arranged the accommodations, tour guide, etc. She did an amazing job, and we had a FABULOUS time!!!

I don't even know where and how to start talking about my trip, so pardon me for this super long post (and I'll probably have to split it anyway because there's so much to talk about).

I LOVED...

• Experiencing a whole other culture- the people, the food, the environment... I loved it all!
• How affordable it is! Granted, getting there (especially from the US) is not cheap. Even flying from Singapore cost a few hundred dollars, but if you can get there, the rest of the trip won't cost too much more. US dollar notes are accepted currency (not US coins though- have to convert cents to the Cambodian riel), 
• Riding the tuk tuk (the Cambodian version of a taxi) around the city. It costs US$1/person/ride. US$1!!! A great way to experience the sights and sounds of the city. Competition between tuk tuk drivers is very high though- one of the tuk tuk drivers had all 6 of us squeeze in his tuk tuk so that he could earn more.
  
  
  
• Angkor Paradise Hotel- good service, big and spacious rooms and very reasonably priced!
• The food- sadly I didn't take any pictures of the food! What an un-Asian thing to do... (:p) I'm not much of a food photographer, and I was always rather hungry whenever we ate, so I didn't wait to snap any pictures, but I'm sure you can find images of the food on Google ;) The Amok (Cambodian fish curry) and fresh fruit milkshakes were fantastic in particular.We drank a milkshake practically every lunch and dinner- it was that good!
• Angkor- majestic, inspiring and fascinating. There are over 300 sites to visit in this ancient city, the most famous being Angkor Wat. We were able to visit 4 temples, which were

1) Angkor Wat

Visit at sunrise- moat surrounding Angkor Wat

2) Ta Prohm- famous for it's giant trees that overran the city after it was abandoned around the 15th century

3) Bayon- most distinctive feature are its massive four-faced stone carvings 

4) Banteay Srey- the intricate carvings on its rich red/pink stone is mind-blowing.

Some other highlights at Angkor:

Eating a fried cricket- surprisingly crispy and pretty delicious!

I love moi elephants...

Carvings of elephants on the city wall @ the Terrace of Elephants

• Tons and tons and tons of outdoor shops at the daytime Old Market (where locals buy their groceries in the morning) and evening Night Markets. There are so many night markets around Siem Reap! Tourists can buy clothes, food and souvenirs at a terrific bargain (as long as you know how to bargain of course).

• The Floating Village- an entire village on a river that migrates upstream into the narrower canal during the wet season, and downstream into the river during the dryer months. Everyone lives on the water, and there is even a few schools and a church. Fascinating!

Yes, they are what you think they are.

US$1 to pose with a pet snake- the girl wore her pet snake like a scarf, and kissed and cuddled it... 

• The War Museum- a sobering reminder of the atrocities that human beings are sadly capable of inflicting upon each other. May we never repeat such violence again.(And if I had money, I would totally invest in remodeling this "museum")

  

  A row of landmines

  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  Broken tanks and armaments imported from the Soviet Union and United States-
  Many broke when it rolled over landmines

We also visited the Cambodian Cultural Village and one of the Buddhist temples. The Cambodian Cultural Center was quite cool, except that most of it was outdoors. The temperature that day was about 38 degrees F (100 degrees F), and so the sweltering heat was just too hard to ignore and detracted from the overall experience. The Buddhist temple was gorgeous and huge. 

I DISLIKED...

• Oh my word THE HEAT... make sure you do your research as to the "right" months to go. Late-May/ early-June = constant shower of sweat. Bring one of those portable mini-electric fans and lots of sunscreen lotion if you have to go during the dry season. The nice thing about the dry season, though, is that it's off-peak tourist season, so the Angkor Wat wasn't packed. 
• The blatant corruption at the airport- make sure you have some spare $1 notes with you when you arrive or depart. You might be asked for some "tip-tip" by the customs officer ($1 is enough). Funny story: I paid S$8 (US$6.50) in Singapore for a passport picture to be attached to my visa to Cambodia (the application can be processed at the airport itself- convenient). I arrived there, and found out that if you did not have a picture, you just needed to pay a bribe "fine" of US$1. I should have just paid the US$1 and saved my money!!! 

These were just a few highlights of my trip, and suggestions if anyone is ever fortunate enough to be able to go there. So many things packed in 4 and a half days! However, with the influx of tourist and slow development of the city, I believe Siem Reap will look very different in ten years time. Probably more modern, more expensive, and with way more tourists. I mourn the day that the unique "charm" I found will be lost as well.  

World's Toughest "Career"

I'm sure many of you have seen this video, "World's Toughest Job":

Which is SO TRUE!

Then, while I was watching THIS VIDEO put out by my church by for Mother's Day under #itwasmom somehow this line struck me as very odd:

"The sticky, sleepless, soul-stretching career (of being a mom)..."

And I thought to myself, "Since when is motherhood a 'career'?"

Now, don't get me wrong. I know that motherhood is a very tough job that is sticky, sleepless and soul-stretching. I'm so grateful for the sacrifices of my own mom.

But the word "career" implies two things:
First, that motherhood can and should be measured in economic terms.
Second, that motherhood is a choice, and that there is an alternative to it. Which makes a lot of sense given that women in developed countries can choose not to have children.

However, this is also where I become dismayed and uncomfortable. Blame it on my LDS upbringing where I learned very conservative concepts about the family, but I strongly believe that motherhood is not simply about justifying it as a worthwhile career choice for women to consider doing. It's not wrong to describe motherhood as a "career" but it's... not quite an appropriate word either. Calling it a "job" or a "career" denigrates its divine purpose, or at least, relegates it to be something less than it was meant to be. Motherhood can be considered a career, but it's also SO MUCH MORE than that.

Unlike an employee, a mother is an essential individual that makes up one of the most fundamental units of society, the family.
Unlike an employee, a mother is indispensable and irreplaceable.
More importantly, unlike an employee, motherhood is a divine calling given to women to help bring about God's eternal plan. There is a sacred purpose to mother- and fatherhood.

Sadly, because society measures a person's worth based purely in economic terms (e.g. "Bill Gates is worth X billions of dollars..."), the worth of a woman is also measured based on these same standards. Hence, "motherhood" needs to be justified as a legitimate "career," and reasons given as to why women should choose to take on this "are-you-out-of-your-mind" job. Or we need to say, "Children are an expensive investment, but the pay-off makes up for it." (How did we get to the point where children are considered "investments?") There is also a gendered double standard of viewing motherhood as a career, but we don't do the same for fatherhood (I could go on, but not here). 

I know most people (and the Church too) recognize that motherhood is more than just a "career," but it's a sad world we live in where something as fundamental and essential as "motherhood" needs to be couched in cold hard economic terms in order for people to consider it worthwhile. Our world really is driven by money isn't it?  

Perhaps this is also why many full-time homemakers (male and female) struggle with self-esteem issues or feel that their lifestyle choice isn't making a difference. It takes a lot of courage to defy the expectations of society, and cling to the fact that you ARE making an indispensable and irreplaceable contribution to society, even if your economic net worth is relatively minuscule. It's even harder for those who come from lower to middle-class families. Unfortunately, we don't live in a society that measures the emotional, mental and social support freely provided by parents, and so these full-time homemakers don't get recognized enough for all they do. 

So even though this is coming after Mother's Day, I want to thank all mothers (full-time homemakers and working moms) who see motherhood as more than just a "career," and who recognize that their worth can't be measured in dollars and cents. Your "job"/ "career" as a mother doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how vital a role you play in the makeup and building up of society. 

I want to especially recognize my mom for her courage in defying societal expectations to be a full-time homemaker. I will never forget that feeling of security of knowing that when I came home from school everyday, she would be there to greet me. To me, that feeling of security is worth more than all the riches of the world. 

Stuck in Limbo

I did my Master's defense today.

Did I pass?

Yes and No.

Really.

Yes, because I did! My committee grilled me for a good hour, and made me realize how much I don't know. But at least I passed!

No, because the stupid Graduate School of OSU (not, thank goodness, associated with the History department) messed up my paperwork, and now I need to resubmit in my application for "graduation" ALL OVER AGAIN. Worse, because of the messed up paperwork, the person from the Graduate School said that the report form, with the signatures of my committee members stating that I passed, was "invalid."

INVALID.

Worse
Word
Ever.
Gave me heart palpitations. And he said that I had to take the exam again.

WHAT THE CRAP WAS THIS???

Apparently, the messed up occurred because I had signed up to do my defense as part of Spring semester, but because of various reasons, my defense could only take place after the semester ended but before Summer semester began. It's a very slim window between these two semesters, but I was told that May 6 was one of the dates that fell within this window of opportunity. Hence, I scheduled it today.
Well, May 6 turned out to 2 days too late and part of Summer semester, and so my application for "graduation" in Spring was canceled. Fine, my bad (or whoever it was that told me May 6 was okay). Except that THE GRADUATE SCHOOL DID NOT TELL ME THAT MY APPLICATION WAS CANCELED. 

How can you cancel an application for graduation without telling the student? What type of university administration are you? Such oversight is unacceptable.

Also, I can't apply for summer graduation because I'm not registered for classes during the Summer. Therefore, if I want to obtain my Master's, I either
1) Register for summer classes, retake the exam, and submit in the paperwork all over again
OR
2) Wait till Fall semester, retake the exam, and submit in the paperwork all over again.

I broke down in tears at this point. How could I not? Take the exam again??? Especially since I already passed?

I was so mad, I confess that I mentally cussed the graduate school. Sorry, but not sorry either.

The good news is that the situation is sort-of salvageable. After wiping my tears and talking to other graduate students who have other very vocal complaints about the Graduate School, I've learned that
a) Because I was a TA for 2 semesters, I can get a tuition waver for Summer semester. So it won't cost me to register for an independent research class - THANK GOODNESS AND HOORAY!
b) I'm not the first graduate student to encounter this stupid situation (seriously?), so all I need to do is talk to the history department coordinator, who will help me. Not to worry. All I will need to do is resubmit all the paperwork again, which is a huge pain, but NO RE-TAKING OF THE EXAM. Once again, thank goodness and hooray!

But right now, I'm stuck in limbo. Passed but not passed. And I hate limbo. Worse feeling ever!

Wish me luck as I try to salvage the situation.

Just Don't Do It

Dear Students of Mine,

Just some words of advice:

1) Don't cheat (or plagiarize) please.

JUST
DON'T
DO
IT.

Period.

If you do, I'm going to have to report you, and then you'll just be wasting my time, your time, and everyone else's time. And it will seriously (sorry for the crude language but this best reflects how I feel) piss me off.

2) If you do cheat, then at least do it in a smart manner. Cheating involves a lot of planning and skill (see the movie Ocean's Eleven for example). Some tips:

•  If you consistently get "C"s on your papers and failed your mid-term, AND you are also consistently late to class and sit at the back, please don't suddenly start giving me "A" answers for your in-class and closed-book final exam. Seriously. Way too suspicious. 
•  If you use Wikipedia, don't pick out phrases and write them in the same sequence as they appeared in the opening paragraph.
• Don't include material that appears in the Wikipedia entry, but was never mentioned in the lectures or lecture slides. It makes the grader go, "Hmm... where did he/ she get this from?" Although I guess this is a moot point, since the reason you are cheating in the first place is probably because you did not listen to the lectures.
• Recycle your answers. Such as in this hypothetical example:

If the 1st half of the exam asked you to identify key figures in the Civil Rights Movement (ID section), and the 2nd half of the exam asked you an essay question about the Civil Rights Movement, at the very least use your cheated answers from the 1st half to help you.
Do not give me "A" answers for your IDs, and then write an incoherent essay on the same topic that did not bring in anything from your ID answers. *facepalm* If you want to cheat, at least do it smartly- recycle your answers! If you don't, that's like jumping up and down in front of the grader with flashing red and yellow and orange lights, saying, "Something-something's going on! HELLO?!"

Hypothetical example of course.

When in doubt, always refer back to 1). If you are struggling, just come talk to me and I will try my best to help you.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Miss Keesh

**The kicker? The essay section was so badly done, it wasn't enough to save the first half of the exam, so that person STILL FAILED. Guess that person received his/her comeuppance after all.