Then, while I was watching THIS VIDEO put out by my church by for Mother's Day under #itwasmom somehow this line struck me as very odd:
"The sticky, sleepless, soul-stretching career (of being a mom)..."
And I thought to myself, "Since when is motherhood a 'career'?"
Now, don't get me wrong. I know that motherhood is a very tough job that is sticky, sleepless and soul-stretching. I'm so grateful for the sacrifices of my own mom.
But the word "career" implies two things:
First, that motherhood can and should be measured in economic terms.
Second, that motherhood is a choice, and that there is an alternative to it. Which makes a lot of sense given that women in developed countries can choose not to have children.
However, this is also where I become dismayed and uncomfortable. Blame it on my LDS upbringing where I learned very conservative concepts about the family, but I strongly believe that motherhood is not simply about justifying it as a worthwhile career choice for women to consider doing. It's not wrong to describe motherhood as a "career" but it's... not quite an appropriate word either. Calling it a "job" or a "career" denigrates its divine purpose, or at least, relegates it to be something less than it was meant to be. Motherhood can be considered a career, but it's also SO MUCH MORE than that.
Unlike an employee, a mother is an essential individual that makes up one of the most fundamental units of society, the family.
Unlike an employee, a mother is indispensable and irreplaceable.
More importantly, unlike an employee, motherhood is a divine calling given to women to help bring about God's eternal plan. There is a sacred purpose to mother- and fatherhood.
Sadly, because society measures a person's worth based purely in economic terms (e.g. "Bill Gates is worth X billions of dollars..."), the worth of a woman is also measured based on these same standards. Hence, "motherhood" needs to be justified as a legitimate "career," and reasons given as to why women should choose to take on this "are-you-out-of-your-mind" job. Or we need to say, "Children are an expensive investment, but the pay-off makes up for it." (How did we get to the point where children are considered "investments?") There is also a gendered double standard of viewing motherhood as a career, but we don't do the same for fatherhood (I could go on, but not here).
I know most people (and the Church too) recognize that motherhood is more than just a "career," but it's a sad world we live in where something as fundamental and essential as "motherhood" needs to be couched in cold hard economic terms in order for people to consider it worthwhile. Our world really is driven by money isn't it?
Perhaps this is also why many full-time homemakers (male and female) struggle with self-esteem issues or feel that their lifestyle choice isn't making a difference. It takes a lot of courage to defy the expectations of society, and cling to the fact that you ARE making an indispensable and irreplaceable contribution to society, even if your economic net worth is relatively minuscule. It's even harder for those who come from lower to middle-class families. Unfortunately, we don't live in a society that measures the emotional, mental and social support freely provided by parents, and so these full-time homemakers don't get recognized enough for all they do.
So even though this is coming after Mother's Day, I want to thank all mothers (full-time homemakers and working moms) who see motherhood as more than just a "career," and who recognize that their worth can't be measured in dollars and cents. Your "job"/ "career" as a mother doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how vital a role you play in the makeup and building up of society.
I want to especially recognize my mom for her courage in defying societal expectations to be a full-time homemaker. I will never forget that feeling of security of knowing that when I came home from school everyday, she would be there to greet me. To me, that feeling of security is worth more than all the riches of the world.
