What a classy decade the 2010s was.

Last September to December, I took an introductory class on computer software R, and the instructors used the below table in one of their slides to illustrate an example of good charts. I however, was struck by it for a completely different reason. 

David Taylor created this 2014 award-winning chart (first published at www.prooffreader.com but chart has since been taken down from source 😕) highlighting the top words in Billboard popular song titles from 1890 to 2014. 

Take a look at the more recent decades:

I mean...😒

It is mind-blowing that popular song titles in the 2000s (and all past decades) had zero curse words, but suddenly they burst to the top only a decade later. To be fair, since this table was published in 2014, the data for the 2010s is incomplete. A full analysis of the entire decade might yield different results.

But for at least 3 years, words such as "Hell", "F***", and "Die" were the most frequently used words in Billboard song titles. 

So classy, right...

I don't know what happened that caused this change but I'm not surprise. In fact, this table only provides proof to a theory I have -- Western pop songs have increasingly become a cesspool of highly vulgar and explicit lyrics since the 2000s. It is ridiculous that I have to google "clean version" or "radio edit version" of so many songs now. Even young up-and-coming singers swear in their songs like it's not a big deal.

I fear for the day when we stop having "radio edit" versions available because we have become so desensitised to such vulgarity and explictiness. 

Cruise to...Nowhere?

That's right, "Cruise to Nowhere". Sounds like a total waste of money but don't diss it till you try it! In a bid to somewhat save some of our lost tourism GDP, the government allowed two cruise companies to operate 2- or 3-night cruises to Singapore's open seas for local residents at half passenger capacity. Every passenger must carry a "trace together" token wherever they go, and the crew were extremely vigilant in ensuring all passengers complied with social distancing rules.  

My family went on the 3day/2night World Dream cruise in January, just after school reopened. This was the first cruise for all of us, and since we did not have tourists or families, our particular cruise only had about 800 passengers (~4,000 is max capacity!). As a result, the service staff treated us very well. We also didn't have to queue or pre-book the pool, restaurants, shows, and events. What a treat!

One of my brother-in-laws was actually in Singapore then but he couldn't go as he is not a Singapore resident. What a pity😩

We went for the upgraded balcony rooms because those were the only ones available, plus if we had to be quarantined, we wanted the more spacious rooms. We have ZERO regrets for this splurge. To sit out at night and be lulled by the sound of the sea...such peace and serenity is rare to come by. 

What we did:

THE POOL & WATER SLIDES

For crowd-control purposes, we had to book the jacuzzi and pool. But since there were so few people, we practically had two jacuzzi tubs and the entire pool to ourselves for a solid 45 minutes! There were also two water slides that that were fun, and brought me back to my childhood at the Sentosa water park (Fantasy Island).

SHOWS

• Sing-a-long to some classic "Oldies". Easy, simple, nostalgic fun.
• Magic show (duh...is it a cruise if there isn't a magician?) He was entertaining and pretty good. Photo of him below.
• (Free) Night-time laser show (set to Michael Jackson songs). There was supposed to be fireworks but they cancelled it on our leg. Guess it wasn't worth the cost with so few passengers. 
• My sisters and I also caught a gambling-bingo game. No one won the grand prize of some ridiculous number, but the consolation prize winner got over a hundred bucks. Enough to cover the cost of the tickets I guess😆 

VR CENTRE

We tried out the VR Centre, and my family had a grand time at the shooting game. But the roller-coaster ride (see below) was a let-down. 

This poor magician. He had a "fan meet" session, and even though we were 10 minutes late, we were still the first there. I'm sure he would be more popular if there were more passengers. We went there because of the promise of free VR Centre tickets, but of course, there is always a catch, right? We didn't end up using the "free"-with-conditions-tickets. 

MASSAGE & SPA

I know, probably one of the biggest rip-offs on a cruise, but my family enjoys splurging on massages during holidays. This cruise massage was relaxing but not the best. At least the package came with a sauna and steam room experience that was enjoyable. 

FREE CLASS

I went for the beginner ballroom dance class (the only one), and perhaps because it was at night and there were so few passengers, I was the only participant! It was embarrassing for me and the instructors. Thankfully my sisters joined me. We got a personalised, 45-min cha cha class, so that was nice. 

DINING

We ate at the complimentary restaurants, except on two occasions. The first was at the Japanese restaurant where we ate the shabu shabu. It felt good to eat such comfort food, especially because the complimentary Chinese restaurant was "meh". About $25/per pax for a filling portion. 

We also splurged on the fine dining Chinese restaurant. Not worth the extra money, but better than its free counterpart. 

The complimentary breakfast restaurant had decent breakfast food though! You can't go wrong with omelets, right? We also got a free ice cream for filling up a customer service form. 

WOULD I GO AGAIN?

Absolutely, with some conditions. 

• Sail during off-peak season when children are in school
• Get a balcony room or suite.
• Save up for the extra-cost meals because the free food gets old very quickly.
• Budget for the internet, which is not cheap. 

The "3rd day" also doesn't count since we docked back at 9am, and were off the ship by 10am. So it really was a 2day/2night trip. 

But I loved the experience and spending time with my sisters again. And someone with more discipline than me would certainly be able to not spend any money on entertainment. Did I mention there are plenty of movies and shows in the rooms for those who are room-bound? 

Overall, I had a wonderful virgin cruise experience, and would love to go for more! 

Floral Fantasy (at Gardens by the Bay)

Gardens by the Bay is famous for its two conservatories (and rightly so! They are so well-done). But I encourage Singapore residents to spend an extra $10 on its lesser-known sister, Floral Fantasy. Highly Instagram-worthy, and a good rest for your legs from walking around the park. It is a small exhibit, and I don't think the foreigner rate is worth it ($20 adult/ $12 child). But if you can get a resident to purchase the tickets, go for it! You are allowed to stay there for 45 minutes, and my mom and I relished every minute there when we visited in July.

I'm not good at photography but it was so easy to shoot naturally beautiful pictures at this venue.

The sight that greets you the moment you enter.

These hanging balls of flowers came up and down by a pulley. I tried to capture on video how magical it felt but the balls ended up looking like virus cells, so...

The exhibit seems to be divided into two sections, front and back. The front has the lovely summer flowers (at least this season) as those above. The back was more eclectic, and I believe the underlying message was to care for our environment and better manage our waste.  

Crocheted "Pitcher" bags and some other items made from recycled material.

The end transitioned into a forest-like area, complete with handing willows and a vivarium on endangered poisonous dart frogs.

It was SO COOL to spot these rare animals, and see how many we could find. 

I definitely want to go again, but next time, I'll dress up nicely and get a better photographer to take professional shots of me there.😄  

Gardens by the Bay: Glass in Bloom exhibition

 My mom and I visited Singapore's Gardens by the Bay (GBTB) this past Saturday. It amazes me that even though I've been there multiple times, there is always something new to see. In this case, it was Dale Chihuly's Glass in Bloom exhibition. 

I was first exposed to Chihuly's work when I visited the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas many years ago. The sight of the famous colourful glass ceiling is still imprinted in my mind, and you can imagine how delighted I was to find out about this GBTB exhibition. 

Warning: photos galore in this post. I didn't take every single piece of his works (and my photographing skills don't do justice anyway), but I took a lot.😁 The below are those I like more.

GBTB displayed Chihuly's work in 5 sections: 

1. Indoor Gallery
2. Outdoor "Gallery" (really the fields and mini-gardens at GBTB)
3. Flower Dome conservatory
4. Cloud Forest Conservatory
5. 3 of his works on public display for "free"

1. Indoor Gallery

For those familiar with  Chihuly's work, this section showcased his "Macchias", "baskets", "Ikebanas", works on paper, and glass art.  

Opening piece. Stunning right?

My favourite was (surprise) the glass paintings. They look "meh" until closer inspection when you realise they are actually layers of painted glass combined to reflect a certain look. My mom loved the top-left art piece because of the way the glass pieces reflect light onto the wall. 

2. Outdoor Garden in the fields and mini-gardens around GBTB

Chihuly's signature works are his Sun and Moon pieces. For this particular exhibit at GBTB, Chihuly created the Setting Sun (wonder how many other Suns there are...).

The Moon was situated in a field surrounded by bottle trees. This is my first time seeing one. How cute are they?

Obvious mastery in bending and shaping glass. One of his most famous pieces is the Ethereal White Persian Pond. Alas, my pictures of that piece turned out horrible so you will have to make do with Google.   

We also found these whimsical animal sculptures (by GBTB, not Chihuly) while walking around. 

Cute!

3. Flower Dome Conservatory

I have to confess that the pieces in the Flower Dome Conservatory were (personal opinion) nice-but-not-fantastic. But the way GBTB designed the display for his 1997 White Tower and 2013 Erbium Pink Fiori was very well-done. 

Looks like Setting Sun but a tower instead of a ball? Setting Sun looked cooler though.😅

That perfect dahlia. Also learned that the flower in the middle-row, far right is from the succulent Crown-of-Thorns. The stem is full of thorns, yet the plant still blooms such pretty flowers. As a Christian, I can't help but think that this plant holds deep symbolism. 

Chihuly's art displayed amidst a variety of bluebells. I don't know why but bluebells make me happy.

My mom loves succulents and pointed out these unusual looking ones.

I discovered a (new?) tiny spice and fruit garden. That space smelled amazing! There was also a wedding taking place when we visited. As I mentioned on Instagram, real-life "Crazy Rich Asians" for sure. There were ~100 guests, which meant every guest had to undergo Pre-Event Testing = a few thousand dollars more on PET kits alone! 

4. Cloud Forest Conservatory

My favourite piece:

Piece was suspended from the viewing bridge (see below pic).😲  

Caught the next rotating exhibition, which was on orchids, Singapore's national flower. Wasn't in love with this new exhibit but lots of unique orchids, such as the tiny orchids growing in bunches (they do that?) and the other tiny purple-white ones. Yellow ones in honour of my paternal grandmother who loved yellow orchids. 

Couple of his other pieces. Very cool but not my favourite, especially the green-spikey one which reminded me of a virus cell. Appropriate for our time but...not. And that's me with a sloth carved entirely from wood. Had to take a selfie because it was so cute and life-like!

For those who didn't want to pay, three of his pieces were on public display for free. Showing two of them here because I couldn't photograph the 3rd (Walla Walla) well. I LOVED these two pieces.

Slipped in a picture of some fuschias set against the Singapore Flyer because they remind me of Christmas, and I love Christmas. It was raining when I took that picture, but the weather cleared up later and turned HOT again.😰 Ah Singapore weather.

I loved the experience and thought it was money well-spent ($30 for the complete package for adults). And there was hardly anyone despite being a Saturday. It was a nice bonus for us, but this probably means the exhibition cost GBTB a financial loss. There is no way they recouped the money shipping these pieces from Seattle to Singapore with only locals paying to view this exhibit. Another casualty of the pandemic. 

I'm glad I caught this before it ended, and hope to one day visit the Chihuly Garden and Glass in Seattle when international travel is available again. 

My First Staycation

Thanks to Covid, the poor aviation and tourism sector in Singapore is bleeding. Can't do much for the aviation industry, but the government has been encouraging residents to take "staycations" to help our hotels stay afloat. 

Being *erhem* "responsible residents" (okay, not really but everyone needs a break, and we can't travel out anyway), my friend and I checked into the historic Goodwood Park Hotel over the Hari Raya Puasa weekend (13-15 May).  The hotel was beautiful, and we got a surprising free upgrade to one of the larger rooms that opened up straight into the pool.💖 We also avoided the crowd since 14 May was still a school day. 

Loved our stay! Overall service was great, and it didn't hurt that our booking included breakfast.  

Scenes from the hotel (L-R, clockwise): HUGE mirror with plenty of cupboard space; so much desk space if we needed it (we didn't); the historic Goodwood Park Hotel; expensive hotel high tea that isn't worth the price😕.   

Thank goodness my friend and I have similar travel "wavelengths". We both enjoy trying new foods and "chilling out" at the hotel, so there was no pressure to pack our schedule. Nonetheless, we still managed to do quite a lot:

- We ate SO MUCH FOOD.  

- Swam

- "Nua"-ed (Singlish for "chill"/relax)

- Chinese massage with gua sha 

- Went for manicures and window shopped the Orchard Road area

(All in the name of spurring domestic GDP of course.) 

Above are some sights from shopping. 

• HDB artwork at Scotts Square Shopping Centre. Very local yet very cool.
• Singapore mural on the way to Don Don Donki
• Not sure why I saw so many interesting cars that weekend. The pink and teal ones were just two examples.
• Pain in the name of beauty. Gua sha marks (love the "release" from gua sha!!!) and 1.5 hour long manicure.

We ate so much, but it was worth every calory. Highlight: the Brazilian cheese puffs (pao de queijo) from Wild Honey. I have been craving these puffs for a few years, but could never find the right occasion to make them. These hit the spot! And that touch of coarse salt added to the bottom of the serving glass was just 💥. Will definitely go back. 

My first staycation was a wonderful experience. It can't beat traveling overseas (duh!) but having to vacation in Singapore isn't too bad either. 

Grieving is a kind of enhanced gratitude

I received news this morning that a good friend of mine passed away on Friday morning (U.S. time). She was only 29 years old. 

We met at the singles' ward in Columbus, Ohio when I was finishing up my last year of graduate school, and she was in her second year as a Pharmacy School grad student. Though we only crossed paths for a year, she became one of my closest girl-friends in Ohio: random road trip to IKEA on a school night (rebel!), watching Wonder Woman in the cinema, Christmas break breakfast with Cynthia, hang out nights, etc. She was just one of the coolest people to be with. 

A few months after I returned to Singapore, I learned that she had developed a malignant (read: cancerous) tumor in her brain. I don't understand all the details, but she named her growth "Super Stupid Stella". My friend fought HARD with Stella and beat her.🙆 Of course, there was still a long road to recovery but there was hope.

Or so everyone thought. Last year, in the midst of a pandemic, the doctors discovered "Dastardly Daphne". My friend spent the Thanksgiving season going for radiation treatment. Unfortunately, by March, Daphne had two additional friends: Margo and Trent. While these friends were partying, my friend went blind, wrecked her sense of smell, put on weight, lost her sense of balance, had difficulty walking, and ate hundreds of medical pills for treatment and pain relief. My friend tried to stay upbeat through treatment. She went on family road trips, listened to audio books, started a blog about her diagnosis before her sight went bad, ate at a whole bunch of new restaurants, and even participated (via her mom) in President Nelson's 7-day #Gratitude challenge. 

But the tumour party carried on, and the treatments stopped working by June. My friend decided to seek hospice treatment at home, and weeks later, she passed away. Apparently most people with her type of cancer only survive about 18 months. She lived with it for 4 years. A tender mercy, but one that doesn't feel long enough at the same time.  

Sheri L. Dew once said that "grieving is a kind of enhanced gratitude". I've always loved this quote but there is nothing like a real-life experience with death to drive this home. Even as I grief for the loss of my friend who left us at the peak of her life, I'm also filled with gratitude that:

1. I had her in my life, however briefly, and she was such a light during my last year of graduate school;
2. She is free from all the physical, mental and emotional pain and exhaustion stemming from the cancer;   
3. The knowledge of the Plan of Salvation and the Spirit World;
4. The knowledge of the resurrection, and the hope, comfort and peace it brings;
5. One day, I will see her again, healthy and whole, and full of her usual sass. 

Take that stupid partying tumours. 

Mother's Day this year...

[July 2021: This post was written back in May. I never posted it because I couldn't quite finish it. But I'm just going to write some conclusion and publish it so that it stops sitting in my "Draft" box. I can always go back and update it, right? 😆]  

I've felt a variety of emotions through the years of celebrating Mother's Day. 

As a young girl, Mother's Day was about showing love and appreciation for my wonderful mom. Almost every year, the children at church would perform a song about mothers, and a youth speaker would talk about his/her mother. And we would make a craft either during church or activity time. I can't remember a single craft I made, but I still remember the sweet Mother's Day songs I learned. "Mother I love you, mother I do..."

Then I transitioned into young adulthood and went off to college, far away from my parents. My first Mother's Day in a young single adult ward (congregation for 18-30 year old) was so different. One, every single speaker said something to the effect of "Being away from my mom has made me appreciate her so much more". Poignant yet amusing. Two, no children singing. Alas!😭

But it got a little embarrassing too. If I happened to be in a family ward on Mother's Day, there tended to be a segment when church leaders invited "all women, married or not" to stand up so that the youth/ children could give a Mother's Day gift/ token to us. I cringed...though I quickly got over it because free gift!😁 Plus I knew Church leaders had no ill intentions and were just trying to be inclusive. 

As I grew into my late-twenties, Mother's Day took an interesting turn. In one of my last young single adult wards, some women got offended when the men gave them something on Mother's Day because "we aren't mothers, and our identity as women isn't defined by motherhood because we are strong women who are so much more than that, so stop giving us gifts on Mother's Day". Maybe-confession: I might have been one of those women because I was deep in feminist literature then. I genuinely cannot recall! But thinking back, it was kind of sweet of the men to do something. It would have been inappropriate if they started singing "Mother I love you..." but giving us a gift? Awkward gesture but again, no ill intended. [Also, I'm pretty sure the next Mother's Day, the men did ZILCH. Such a pity.] 

When I moved home, Mother's Day went back to being a delight. I loved being back in a family ward where the children and youth performed on Mother's day. I appreciated celebrating my mom in person. And I didn't care if someone wished me "Happy Mother's Day". In fact, it was nice that social media made a conscious effort to include women who had lost a child or could not have children. [I also think social media has also gone too far in being politically correct on Mother's Day...but that's for another post.] 

So I was caught off-guard when an unexpected wave of sadness and loneliness washed over me as I sat in church last Sunday. As I parsed through my emotions, I realised that I was feeling...grief. Grief for the children I don't have. Grief for the children I love now but who will never call me "mother" or "mine". Grief for a lifelong, deep-rooted dream that is dimming with each passing year.  

I know motherhood isn't limited to having children by birth, marriage, or adoption. I can still be maternal and nurture other people's children. Part of why I adore my nieces and nephews and the children at church is because I can't have my own, so the next best thing is to be the best aunt.

But no matter how much love and energy I pour into them, there will always be a distinction. I can be the best "mother" to these children but I will never be their mother. 

Perhaps these emotions are coming on because I'm turning 35 this July. For some reason, 35 feels like a giant milestone where I stop deluding myself as being "still young". The biological clock is officially counting and winding down! 

I've been richly blessed in other aspects of my life, so please don't think I'm bitter. I'm also 100% aware motherhood has its own challenges and difficulties. But my challenge is dealing with the fact that I can't have children, and no amount of being the awesome, fun, "kick-butt" aunt will fill that void. (And please don't start on the whole "it will come in the next life". It's cold comfort for THIS life. Thank you for understanding😅.)

So to all the young mothers in my immediate social circle, I hope you understand why I'm that over-zealous aunt who goes around spoiling your children. Feel free to tell me to back off, but I really mean no harm. 

[Update in July: I'm feeling 100% okay now. These waves of grief come and go. Singlehood (can be) awesome!]