The Adventures of Living with Miss Cee

WARNING: this post contains lots of CAPS LETTERS (for emphasis & dramatic effect), but is based on TRUE events.

Miss Cee has been my roommate for only ONE WEEK, but I can already foresee that it is going to be quite an adventure.

Last night I came home around 10 pm and was putting away my stuff when Miss Cee rushed out exclaiming, "Miss Keesh! I've been waiting for you to come home becuaseabirdattackedmeandthereisamouseinthekitchen!"
HUH?!
She explained (slower) that she was sitting at her desk in her bedroom, happily working on her computer and was about to take a shower when A BIRD ATTACKED HER.

Remember, it's winter time, so all our windows are shut tight with blinds pulled down, and (as far as we can see) there are no holes in the roof of the apartment. So when she said A BIRD ATTACKED HER, I pictured this:

Taken from http://www.istockphoto.com

Only of course, an angrier (and browner) bird, pecking at the window, furiously trying to break the glass and blinds to get in. I was like, "Huh?! Why would a bird attack you?!"
Then she went on to say that  she was so scared, she started crawling on all fours and shut both our bedroom doors and the bathroom door, to which, because I'm still thinking this:

I thought to myself, "She crawled on on fours? Erm... okay, I guess she didn't want the bird to see her through our bedroom windows... But why shut the bathroom door? There are no windows in our bathroom!"

And then she started exclaiming how the bird swooped down right in front her face multiple times, and I finally got it- she wasn't talking about a bird outside of the window. THE FREAKING BIRD WAS IN OUR APARTMENT ATTACKING HER!!!

WHAT THE HECK???!!! How in the world did the bird get into the apartment? And what do you do in such a situation?! Please remember that poor Miss Cee was all alone, crawling and gasping for anyone to hear her pleas for salvation... alright, not so dramatic, but imagine how freaked out you would be if a bird appeared OUT OF NOWHERE and swooped down TO YOUR FACE and CIRCLED ABOVE YOUR HEAD and started demanding "GET ME OUT OF HERE OR I WILL PECK YOU TO DEATH."

Seriously, it's terrifying.

Where are the men when you need them??? - one of the thoughts that went through Miss Cee's mind. The other was, "Help me! Please keep me alive!"

Thank goodness despite the "trauma" Miss Cee figured out how to get the bird out of the apartment, which involved shutting all doors (hence the bathroom), turning on the lights to the living room and opening the balcony door to let the bird escape. Thankfully, the bird took the escape route.

Poor Miss Cee. And you wonder why I hate birds... 

But WAIT!!! The story does not end there. After Miss Cee got the bird out, she quickly shut the balcony doors, turned around and was about the walk back to the bedroom when she noticed this:

A mysterious "blob" perched on our kitchen cabinet doors near the ceiling. Inching closer, the blob turned out to be
A MOUSE.

Round 2.

Except that this time, the animal simply perched there as if dead. Not knowing what to do and not wanting to do anything anyway, Miss Cee left the ceiling light on, hoping that the light would force it to stay in its position while she went took a shower. No point staring at a mouse that didn't seem inclined to move all night right?  She took a shower, then quickly shut herself in her room.

I came home soon after, blissfully ignorant of all that had taken place just an hour prior. So when Miss Cee rushed out to tell me all that had happened, I could not quite believe my ears. A bird attacked her? And what mouse was she talking about?

I climbed onto a small chair and took a closer look, and after puzzling over why the mouse was so black and furry, it hit me (again).
This wasn't a mouse.
Oh no.
The "blob" was really
A
SMALL
CURLED UP
BAT!!! 

There is A BAT in my apartment.
Oh my word. What the heck.
This is not some dark, dusty, junk-filled attic that becomes a perfect nesting place for bats- THIS IS MY KITCHEN IN MY NEW APARTMENT. In case, you don't believe me, I climbed onto the chair again and took a picture as evidence:

Okay, now to figure out what to do with this bat. I didn't know if the bat was dead or not, though Miss Cee suspected that it was alive but injured (her theory is that the bird had attacked the bat and taken it into the apartment). Ewww!!! No way was I going to deal with a bat that was alive. Thus, in order to test it's alive-ness, I took the handle of a bathroom appliance, and tapped on the cabinet door and ceiling because (believe it or not) I remembered that bats had excellent hearing, and I thought tapping on it might "wake" it up or at least cause some movement. Some of you are rolling your eyes, but hey! I don't do science.

Anyway, zero movement from the bat, even after all the ruckus from the tapping. Therefore I thought, "This bat is dead." I grew bolder and inched the handle closer to the one of its claws. Closer and closer... then I touched it. 

The bat finally moved its claw and curled up smaller.

I SCREAMED, and so did Miss Cee (who was, may I say, "safely" sitting on the couch in the living room, observing all that I was doing and offering suggestions, but she wasn't going near the kitchen anytime soon). THE BAT WAS ALIVE AND SLEEPING/ RESTING IN MY KITCHEN!!! No way was I going to go near that scary (a)live monster-relative-of-the-blood-sucking-vampire. It hadn't move because Miss Cee had (wisely and thank goodness!) left the light on. 

We were almost resigned to having to leave the light on for the rest of the night, then Miss Cee thought of our home teachers [home teachers are men assigned to take care of a family/ single sister in their congregation] or HTs.  We decided to ask one of them to come over the next morning and help us deal with it before church- it was late at night, and the bat was "sleeping" right? Anyway, here is how the text "conversation" went:

Miss Cee: Hey, can you do me a favor tomorrow morning before going to church? There is a BAT in our kitchen. Can you please come and take it out for us? [note the caps of the word "BAT"]

Miss Cee's HT: Wait, a live bat? [We can totally infer what he was thinking- "Seriously?! What type of bat? Dead or alive? Or a baseball bat?"] 

Miss Cee: Yes.............

HT: We can come now [i.e., "I got to see this for myself. No way there is a LIVE bat in their apartment."]

Only we didn't see his last text, and so a few minutes after we started putting away stuff for the day, we heard a knock on our door- I tell you, there is really only so much shock one can take in a night. Thank goodness it was a pleasant shock this time because ta dah! Our HTs stood outside our apartment, ready to "take down" (no pun intended!) the bat.

Here are our heroes, armed with a broom and one of those flexible-clothed laundry baskets. I helped them a little, and when we tried coaxing the bat into the basket, it made this ear-piercingly-high, horrid "chirp, chirp, chirp" sound. Yup, definitely not dead. It even spread its wings when we finally trapped it! The HTs then grabbed it and set it free on the balcony. 

HOORAY FOR OUR HEROES!

The weird things is despite all that, I hope it survived because I actually do like bats, and I sincerely hope it did NOT meet the same fate as this mouse:

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! One of my favorite videos this year so far. 

When Miss Cee's friend heard about the bat, she pointed out that it was an auspicious sign for us because in the Chinese language, the word "bat" (蝙蝠/ bian fu) sounds like the word "fortune" (福/ fu). It seemed especially appropriate considering that yesterday was Chinese New Year's Eve. I joked that we had chased our fortune out of the balcony door, to which Miss Cee quipped, "No, we are simply sharing the fortune with everyone else!"

We had a terrific looooooong laugh together. So my readers, if you notice that you are having an especially prosperous year, you know why!